The Dark Legend Of Cheeseface: 5 Shocking Facts About The National Lampoon Cover Dog
Cheeseface: Biography of the Most Famous Canine Model
Cheeseface was not a purebred show dog but a handsome, black-and-white mixed-breed dog whose life story is intrinsically linked to one of the most significant publications in American humor, *National Lampoon*. While his exact origins are obscure, his brief career as a model resulted in a legacy that has endured for over five decades. Here is a detailed profile of the dog whose nervous expression defined a generation of dark satire:
- Name: Cheeseface (also known as Mr. Cheeseface).
- Species: Canine (Mixed-Breed Dog/Mutt).
- Coloring: Black-and-White.
- Approximate Birth Year: c. 1968 or 1969.
- Date of Fame: January 1973 (Publication of the "Death" Issue).
- Magazine: *National Lampoon* (The groundbreaking American humor magazine).
- Iconic Cover Caption: "If You Don't Buy This Magazine, We'll Shoot This Dog".
- Cover Concept: Conceived by writer Ed Bluestone.
- Art Direction: Peter Kleinman.
- Photography (Credited): Chris Callis.
- Owner: Unidentified, lived on a farm in Vermont.
- Date of Death: Early 1976.
- Location of Death: Owner's farm in Vermont.
- Cause of Death: Shot by an unidentified hunter/assailant.
1. The Cover Was a Calculated Act of Black Comedy and Marketing Genius
The infamous image appeared on the January 1973 "Death" issue of *National Lampoon*. The magazine, a spinoff from *The Harvard Lampoon*, was already known for its controversial, often shocking, satirical content. The cover, however, was a masterstroke of dark humor and a cynical marketing gimmick designed to force a purchase decision. The concept was simple: a handsome, seemingly nervous dog with a revolver pointed directly at its head, coupled with the ultimatum, "If You Don't Buy This Magazine, We'll Shoot This Dog".
This image was a direct challenge to the era’s sentimental attachment to animals in media and a brutal parody of manipulative advertising tactics. The idea, credited to writer Ed Bluestone, perfectly encapsulated the magazine's willingness to cross every conceivable line for a laugh and to make a point about the state of American culture. The cover immediately became a media sensation, solidifying the *National Lampoon*'s cultural import and turning Cheeseface into an unwitting icon of American black comedy.
2. Cheeseface Was a 'Professional' Model, Unfazed by the Revolver
Despite the dog’s seemingly frightened expression—a key element of the cover’s effectiveness—Cheeseface was described by those involved as a highly cooperative and "professional" animal model. The appearance of fear was likely a combination of skillful photography, lighting, and the natural anxiety of the animal being held still for the shot, rather than a genuine reaction to the prop gun. The photographer, Chris Callis, and Art Director Peter Kleinman, managed to capture a moment of canine vulnerability that made the threat in the caption feel immediate and real.
The magazine’s editorial team knew the power of the image. The use of a dog—an animal universally seen as innocent and beloved—was a deliberate choice to maximize the shock value and the ethical dilemma for the potential buyer. The controversy wasn't just about the threat; it was about the magazine's casual disregard for one of society's few remaining sacred cows: pet welfare. This controversial imagery cemented the magazine's reputation for being "brainless, dickless, heartless, shameless" in its pursuit of satire.
3. The Shocking, Real-Life Death Three Years Later
The most bizarre and unsettling aspect of Cheeseface’s story is the tragic irony of his real-life death. Approximately three years after the "Death" issue hit newsstands, in early 1976, Cheeseface was shot and killed on his owner's farm in Vermont. The circumstances surrounding his death were eerily similar to the morbid joke on the cover.
Reports suggest the dog was shot by an "unidentified hunter" or "assailant". Some accounts claim the dog was killed for allegedly "running deer," a common, though often loosely enforced, reason for shooting a dog in rural areas like Vermont. Regardless of the motive, the end of Cheeseface’s life—a violent, sudden death by a gunshot—was a dark, almost unbelievable coincidence that seemed to fulfill the cover’s fictional threat. The dog who became famous for a joke about being shot was, in the end, actually shot.
4. The Cover’s Legacy Has Been Remade and Referenced Countless Times
The cultural impact of the *National Lampoon* dog cover extends far beyond the magazine's 1970s heyday. It remains one of the most iconic magazine covers ever produced and has been repeatedly parodied, referenced, and remade across various media. The phrase "Buy this or we'll kill the dog" has become a shorthand for an extreme, high-pressure, or comically desperate marketing tactic.
The cover has been used to comment on everything from political campaigns to advertising ethics. The sheer audacity of the original image has ensured its place in the pantheon of controversial imagery, often listed alongside other boundary-pushing *National Lampoon* covers like the "If Ted Kennedy had driven a Volkswagen" issue. It is a powerful reminder of the magazine's unique brand of satirical content that influenced comedy giants for decades, including the writers and performers of *Saturday Night Live*.
5. The Dog’s Death Fueled Conspiracy Theories of a Deliberate 'Assassination'
The coincidence of Cheeseface's death being by gunshot led to immediate speculation and dark humor within the *National Lampoon* community and beyond. Some retellings of the story, fueled by the magazine's own twisted sense of humor, have suggested the dog’s death was a deliberate "assassination" in the history of celebrity animals. While the official, mundane explanation points to a hunter in Vermont, the dramatic irony of the situation was too rich for the magazine's writers—and the public—to ignore.
The story of Cheeseface is now a morbid footnote in the history of American humor, a perfect storm of marketing, dark satire, and tragic reality. It is a tale where the joke—a threat to kill an animal for commerce—was brutally mirrored by life, forever linking the mixed-breed dog to the magazine's most potent and unforgettable cultural statement. The "Death" issue remains a highly sought-after collector's item, ensuring that Cheeseface's nervous gaze and the magazine's ruthless humor will continue to provoke and entertain for years to come.
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