The Monogamy Myth Debunked: 5 Surprising Facts About Amish Marriage And Polygamy
The persistent myth that the Amish people practice polygamy is unequivocally false. As of December 19, 2025, the Amish, who are a strict denomination of Anabaptist Christianity, adhere to a rigid code of conduct called the Ordnung that mandates lifelong monogamy—one man, one wife. The confusion often stems from a lack of public understanding about the diverse "Plain People" and the conflation of the Amish with entirely separate, non-related polygamist groups, such as the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS).
This article will not only provide a definitive answer but also delve into the surprising and often misunderstood intricacies of the Amish marital system, contrasting their deeply held beliefs with the practices of groups that embrace plural marriage. Their marriage customs, rooted in faith and community, reveal a world far more complex and disciplined than the simple "polygamy" stereotype suggests.
The Definitive Stance: Amish Monogamy and the Ordnung
The core of the Amish faith is built upon a literal interpretation of the Bible, which strongly supports monogamy as the only acceptable form of marriage. The idea of "Amish polygamists" is a complete contradiction to their religious doctrine and historical practice.
Amish Marriage: A Covenant of One
Amish marriage is viewed as a sacred, unbreakable covenant, not merely a contract. This belief is a fundamental reason why divorce is strictly prohibited within all Old Order Amish communities.
- Biblical Basis: The Amish follow the teachings of the New Testament, which explicitly endorse a monogamous union.
- The Ordnung: This unwritten (and sometimes written) code of conduct governs every aspect of Amish life, including strict rules about marriage. It explicitly forbids polygamy and requires members to marry only within the Amish church.
- Lifelong Commitment: When an Amish couple marries, they are expected to stay married for life, reflecting the seriousness of their vows.
The emphasis on large families among the Amish is a common source of confusion, leading some outsiders to incorrectly assume polygamy is involved. However, their belief that large families are a blessing from God is achieved through high birth rates within strictly monogamous marriages, not plural marriage.
Why the Confusion? Amish vs. Fundamentalist Polygamist Groups
The most significant reason the "Amish polygamists" myth persists is the public's tendency to lump all conservative, isolated religious groups together. The groups that *do* practice polygamy are entirely distinct from the Amish.
The Critical Distinction: FLDS and Fundamentalist Mormons
The practice of plural marriage in North America is almost exclusively associated with Fundamentalist Mormon splinter groups, such as the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS). These groups have no theological, historical, or geographical connection to the Amish.
- FLDS (Fundamentalist Mormons): This group broke away from the mainstream Mormon church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) after the latter disavowed polygamy in the late 19th century. They believe a man must marry multiple wives for the highest exaltation in heaven.
- Amish (Anabaptist Christians): Their faith originated in the 16th-century European Anabaptist movement, entirely separate from the 19th-century American origins of Mormonism. Their core beliefs are centuries apart.
The only shared experience between some Amish and polygamist groups is a focus on community and separation from mainstream society, but their religious doctrines on marriage are diametrically opposed.
The Intricate Rules of Amish Courtship and Marriage
To understand the commitment to monogamy, one must examine the unique and strict rules that govern how Amish couples meet, date, and marry. These practices ensure the seriousness of the union and the stability of the family, which is the bedrock of their community.
1. The Rumspringa Period
Amish youth typically begin dating around the age of 16, during the period known as Rumspringa. While often sensationalized, this is a time when young adults are given more freedom to experience the outside world before making the critical, lifelong decision to be baptized into the Amish church. It is during this time that courtship begins.
2. Private Engagements and Courtship
Unlike "English" (non-Amish) couples, engagements are private affairs, often kept secret from the community until just a few weeks before the wedding. The courtship itself follows strict rules, though these vary by community (e.g., Lancaster County vs. Ohio).
3. The Practice of "Bed Courting" or "Bundling"
One of the most surprising and often misunderstood customs is "bed courting," also known as "bundling." In some districts, this practice involves a courting couple lying in bed together, fully clothed, sometimes with a board placed between them, to talk and spend time together.
- Purpose: This tradition is intended to allow for intimacy and conversation without sexual contact, though its strictness and practice vary widely and it is often a source of controversy, even within the Amish community.
- Contrast to Polygamy: This practice, though unusual to outsiders, is a part of a strictly monogamous courtship ritual designed to test commitment before marriage, not a component of plural marriage.
4. Wedding Traditions
Amish weddings are traditionally held after the harvest, usually on a Tuesday or Thursday in late fall (November or December). They are simple, long ceremonies held in the bride's home, followed by a massive, all-day feast that can host hundreds of guests.
5. Marriage Vows and Divorce
The marriage ceremony itself does not involve the typical "for better or worse" vows but is a solemn commitment to the church and each other. Because marriage is a lifetime covenant governed by the Ordnung, divorce is nearly impossible and not recognized by the church. An Amish person who leaves their spouse would likely be shunned.
Conclusion: A Culture of Strict Monogamy
The answer to the question "Are the Amish polygamists?" is a resounding and historically consistent "No." The Old Order Amish and other Anabaptist groups adhere to a strict, Biblically-based monogamy that is central to their faith and their code of conduct, the Ordnung. Their focus on large families, simplicity, and separation from the modern world often leads to misidentification, but their marriage practices are fundamentally different from those of polygamist sects like the FLDS. Understanding the rigorous rules of Amish courtship, from Rumspringa to their unique wedding traditions, reveals a culture deeply committed to the sacred, lifelong union of one man and one woman.
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